autism and friendship

 December 27th of 2025 - Autism and Friendship, and However Else Today Went (and Whatever)

Above is a drawing depicting the events of Dec 27, 2025. Below this, I discuss how autism makes me miss my friends and think about them often. I get so emotional that I cry sometimes.

 Today when I went out, I saw many things that reminded me of my friend Steve May. Two notable things I saw were cheese and a striped tee on a mannequin in the window of a clothing shop. When I see things that remind me of my friends, I get fuzzy warmth in my chest or an aching sadness that feels like a crater in my chest. Oddly, today, it was both. I think about my friends a lot and tend to think to myself, "I should be telling my friends hello," but I don't if they seem 'really, really-ultra-omega cool' to me. I just go home and think about the specific friend over and over again - or call them if they're online. But I don't if that person is busy and has a life. But sometimes I might, but not, but might... but not. I ate free cracker samples, steak and guinness pie, taiyaki with custard in it, apple slices and drank my last strawberry punch Jack Daniel's beer. Oh, and a pepsi. And whatever else happened today. I watched some anime with my friend over at this awesome blog. She's pretty cool.

 

That's pretty much it other than me taking the dog out to poo.  Which also reminded me that Steve hates picking up doggy poo. I'm such an idiot sometimes it's laughable.

 

Peace for tonight. 

 

(EDIT: it's autism because I hyperfocus, but maybe it's also BPD because I get emotional and cry over my loved ones. Just know that I love you all nonetheless.) 

Steve May is kawaii + befriending of Lee and Fraser

 I don't know either...

He just looked like, shy and cute. or something. I don't know what's wrong with me.

 Anyways, the entire month of December has been such hell for me that I honestly think God hates me or maybe I'm going insane. I keep losing friends and jobs and everything in between and I am not certain how much longer I can hold on. God is testing me because he hates me for not bringing peace to the world via my own sacrifice. Because of this, I went into psychosis last night. I drew Steve like a shy cartoon thing because Steve makes me happy. I think I have brain fungus... Needless to say, I ended up asleep and woke up to my phone service being off. Wow. Fucking amazing. Another piece of shit on top of the bullshit cake that is my miserable life. At least I drew Steve and that made me feel less like shit. He is one of the only good remaining things on this God-forsaken planet alongside Cult Figures and The Beano.

 

On other news, I befriended Lee McFadden (bassist of Cult Figures) on Facebook and now he has my moe anime style drawing of him as his profile pic. That and I also befriended Fraser, the vocalist - augh, all of them are so cool. I literally cried and wanted to puke out of glee and over-excitement.

 

I am hoping things get better. Until then, here is the end of my stupid post and Lee's FB layout:

 

 

i love them all so much it's killing me